I know you’re all probably shocked to hear from me as I haven’t been very active for a few weeks now due to starting back in my final year at University, jetting off on holiday and other things I won’t bore you with.
But anyway, I’m back and I have some really exciting content lined up for you all.
So let’s get on with today’s post.
I wanted to discuss a topic that I’ve seen/read a lot about over the past few weeks from other influencers and bloggers.
It’s fair to say when it comes to having a lot of self-esteem, I definitely don’t fall under that category, and I think it’s very clear why.
I’m naturally quite a shy person, but more than ever I have been suffering with having really low self-esteem.
Some people might turn their nose up at this, and think how can she feel shit about herself? All the posts she puts on Instagram, all the selfies, etc etc.
But let’s just clarify some things.
Just because somebody posts a picture that looks ‘flawless’ on social media, doesn’t necessarily mean that A) They actually are flawless B) They feel confident and C) They’re happy with themselves.
Me being a 20 year-old female, growing up in a world where everything you see now is all for online purpose, nobody takes photographs for memories anymore, unfortunately it’s about getting the ‘perfect angel’ for your Instagram pic.
So, let’s face it, this ‘fake reality’ we tend to stalk on social media everyday, can actually be damaging to us more than we think.
I could be surrounded by people who love me, think I’m brilliant, pay me a 100 compliments, and I’d still feel really crap about myself, and why? Because of me.
I for one, am definitely my worst enemy.
So how do you tackle this?
Well It’s hard. It’s difficult to get out of a negative frame of mind about yourself, whether it’s due to appearance, weight, or intelligence.
The key thing I’ve noticed (which I’m sometimes guilty of) is comparison.
Comparing yourself is so damaging to yourself esteem. E-S-P-E-C-I-A-L-L-Y comparing yourself to edited images you see plastered all over the internet, with not a flaw in sight.
But let’s face it, nobody is flawless.
I’ll hold my hand up and say that i’m guilty of this too. I don’t put the worst picture’s up of myself on my Instagram. I don’t go for the ugliest or silliest selfie’s that I’ve taken. I go for the one that shows me off best. But why do I do that?
1) To boost my self esteem.
2) To keep up with everybody else
3) My image
I’m not one for editing photographs for hours on end, but I would say I’m a fairly creative person, and that is portrayed through my Instagram, and what I do.
I’m a blogger, so for me, my Instagram is a way of sharing my blog, and creating an image to go with it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this, and I’d say it reflects who I am well, and I don’t have a problem with other influencers doing so.
But when other young girls are starting accounts up from young ages like 14 year old, and looking at body builders, flawless beauty bloggers and fashion models, the demand of creating this false reality is very high maintenance, and let’s face it… unrealistic.
So I’m not saying post your ugliest picture, or stop sharing your latest outfit, or meal. I’m just saying, make sure what you’re posting (especially if you have a large following) is REAL.
I think in today’s age, being you is the best thing you can be. Don’t portray a false identity just for likes or following.
It’s damaging today’s society for young girls (and boys) more than we care to realise.
Below I’ve put together some tips which I think help anybody suffering with self-esteem issues.
Be sure to like or comment on this post if you agree with anything I’ve wrote about today.
Thanks for reading,
MY 7 TIPS FOR BOOSTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM:
1. Say stop to your inner critic.
A good place to start with raising your self-esteem is by learning how to handle and to replace the voice of your own inner critic.
We all have an inner critic.
It can spur you on to get things done or it can be the little voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough.
This inner voice whispers or shouts destructive thoughts in your mind. Thoughts like for example:
▪ You are lazy and sloppy, now get to work.
▪ You aren’t good at your job at all and someone will figure that out and throw you out.
▪ You are worse or uglier than your friend/co-worker/partner.
You don’t have to accept this though. There are ways to minimise that critical voice and to replace it with more helpful thoughts. You can change how you view yourself.
One way to do so is simply by creating a stop-word or phrase.
As the critic says something – in your mind – shout: STOP!
Give it ago the next time a negative thought pops into your mind.
2. Take a 2 minute self-appreciation break.
This is a very simple and fun habit, and if you spend just two minutes on it every day for a month then it can make huge difference.
Here’s what you do:
Take a deep breath, slow down and ask yourself this question: what are 3 things I can appreciate about myself?
Here are a few examples that have come up with:
▪ Help quite a few people each day through what I write.
▪ Can make people laugh and forget about their troubles.
▪ Be thoughtful and caring when it comes to the ones I love most.
These short breaks do not only build self-esteem in the long run but can also turn a negative mood around and reload you with a lot of positive energy again.
3. Do the right thing.
When you do what you deep down think is the right thing to do then you raise and strengthen your self-esteem.
It might be a small thing like getting up from the couch and going to the gym. It could be to be understanding instead of judgemental in a situation, or to stop feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the opportunities and gratitude for what you actually have.
It is not always easy to do. Or even to know what the right thing is. But keeping a focus on it and doing it as best you can makes big difference both in the results you get and for how you think about yourself.
4. Replace the perfectionism.
Few thought habits can be so destructive in daily life as perfectionism.
It can paralyse you from taking action because you become so afraid of not living up to some standard. And so you procrastinate and you do not get the results you want. This will make your self-esteem sink.
How can you overcome perfectionism?
A few things that really helped me are:
▪ Go for good enough. When you aim for perfection then that usually winds up in a project or a task never being finished. So simply go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished.
▪ Remember that buying into myths of perfection will hurt you. This simple reminder that life is not like in a movie, a song or a book can be good reality check whenever you are daydreaming of perfection, because reality can clash with your expectations.
▪ Surround yourself with positive people.
Don’t buy into other people’s judgemental ways, surround yourself with people you love and those who love you. Get rid of any toxic people, who may be bringing your self-esteem even lower.
5. Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.
If you go outside of your comfort zone, if you try to accomplish anything that is truly meaningful then you will stumble and fall along the way.
And that is OK, it is normal. It is what people that did something that truly mattered have done throughout all ages. Even if we don’t always hear about it as much as we hear about their successes.
6. Try something new.
When you try something new, when you challenge yourself in a small or bigger way and go outside of your comfort zone then your opinion of yourself goes up.
You may not have done whatever you did in a spectacular or great way but you at least tried instead of sitting on your hands and doing nothing.
And that is something to appreciate about yourself and it can help you come alive as you get out of a rut.
So go outside of your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything, just tell yourself that you will try.
7. Stop falling into the comparison trap.
When you compare your life, yourself and what you have to other people’s lives and what they have then you have destructive habit on your hands.
Because you can never win. There is always someone who has more or is better than you at something in the world. There are always people ahead of you.
So replace that habit with something better…
Look at how far you have come, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Focus on you. On your results.